The Victim

Growing up makes you observe more, you start answering questions once you nagged about. I look upon the screen of my mobile, its a text from my school friends whom I haven’t seen in the last past 5 years. A reunion is being planned somewhere, where I knew I would not be allowed to go at least not all by myself. I would have to convince my father and my brother separately. Recalling the drama that last time happened at an induction ceremony while I convinced my brother to pick me up late from an event gives me another reason not to go. I’ve thought about going a few times but I don’t find any reason good enough. Even with the exhaustion of going against everything especially myself, I replyDecide the place & time then I’ll tell. The group chat continues each suggesting a good place to eat while matching out their schedule. It’ll give me an ample amount of time to think of a way to respond. Dining out is not one of my favorite things to do though good food is. There was once a time when my parents restricted me from going to any social activities. It just seemed such a luxury to them. As a kid I hated not being able to understand the distress of such social gatherings. There was always anger and a feeling of victimization that my social life is depleting. I didn’t have a large social circle and blamed my parents for that part. It was always there at the back of my mind that only if I was allowed to go to these fancy gatherings I would be part of a larger group of friends, but it wasn’t only the gatherings. Social media was too abandoned at our home. I wasn’t much aware of the affairs of the world at that time maybe that is the reason why you would find me watching talk shows and reading news which I once thought was useless. I thought it had nothing but misery one talking over the speech of other dying to get his idea planted in others head. As I draw in more and more awareness of the world I understand my parent’s restriction more and more, though agreeing with it is another thing. The place and time for the meet n greet are decided, now I just have to ask my dad he’ll decline and I’ll have to pretend I’ll come next time. There are so many intervened issues with that single decline. Every time I think of resolving these issues my mind exhausts. Then I think of the chaotic world, my own issue seems quite a minute. One way or the other we are all victimized either by another person or even our own mind.