The Victim

Growing up makes you observe more, you start answering questions once you nagged about. I look upon the screen of my mobile, its a text from my school friends whom I haven’t seen in the last past 5 years. A reunion is being planned somewhere, where I knew I would not be allowed to go at least not all by myself. I would have to convince my father and my brother separately. Recalling the drama that last time happened at an induction ceremony while I convinced my brother to pick me up late from an event gives me another reason not to go. I’ve thought about going a few times but I don’t find any reason good enough. Even with the exhaustion of going against everything especially myself, I replyDecide the place & time then I’ll tell. The group chat continues each suggesting a good place to eat while matching out their schedule. It’ll give me an ample amount of time to think of a way to respond. Dining out is not one of my favorite things to do though good food is. There was once a time when my parents restricted me from going to any social activities. It just seemed such a luxury to them. As a kid I hated not being able to understand the distress of such social gatherings. There was always anger and a feeling of victimization that my social life is depleting. I didn’t have a large social circle and blamed my parents for that part. It was always there at the back of my mind that only if I was allowed to go to these fancy gatherings I would be part of a larger group of friends, but it wasn’t only the gatherings. Social media was too abandoned at our home. I wasn’t much aware of the affairs of the world at that time maybe that is the reason why you would find me watching talk shows and reading news which I once thought was useless. I thought it had nothing but misery one talking over the speech of other dying to get his idea planted in others head. As I draw in more and more awareness of the world I understand my parent’s restriction more and more, though agreeing with it is another thing. The place and time for the meet n greet are decided, now I just have to ask my dad he’ll decline and I’ll have to pretend I’ll come next time. There are so many intervened issues with that single decline. Every time I think of resolving these issues my mind exhausts. Then I think of the chaotic world, my own issue seems quite a minute. One way or the other we are all victimized either by another person or even our own mind.

Words Under my Skin : The Amusement

As I open my eyes the noise of excitement is replaced by vision of amusement park. As I stand still on the entrance, the roller coaster runs wild on its tracks. I look around to see who else is present I find strangers all around me until I see a group of people, too unknown to be strangers. Two of them are licking orange flavoured popsicle, endorsing their peppy persona as I watch one of them smile widely when they acknowledge my presence followed by blank expressions from others. This is not new to me its always been like this, the emotionless faces that once mattered to me the most now feel like a ghost who has lost its ability to scare. But there’s one ghost face that still matters as his face flickered to an expression of recognition. I waited for a friendly smile from him but instead watched him walk away, rest of the members also walking along. I didn’t wanted to be left alone so I followed behind the peppy person who first offered me ice cream and shrugged when I refused it. We walk into a haunted house, losing sight of everyone as the darkness took over. I try to keep up with the foot steps but its too dark for me to see whether I know who I am following. Do I really know anybody here? Everyone is a stranger except maybe the peppy person. The sound of foot steps die down and my heart skips a beat. I feel the cold and crisp air trickle my presence, there’s nothing around me. Fear of abandonment takes over me while I try to stay composed and calm. It was not a good idea to follow them. While I try to convince myself all of this is part of this Haunted House Game, I hear a gun shot and a scream.Trembling though I’m not scared of darkness I stumble to the nearest wall I can find. I should have stayed home. I hear people running, with my own foot steps stomping towards a small streak that’s letting light in, my elbow hits a knob making me realize I’ve bumped into the door. Successfully opening the door I find the exit, the sound of screaming and running has died down as I make my way out of the haunted house. Heavily breathing I hear screams from the roller coaster once again. The door slams open and I see the ghost face smile with gun in one hand followed by peppy person. Wondering whether I should be surprised or scared I blurt out, “I’m sorry.” I see peppy person smile grew wider and with gun directly aimed at me I know there’s no way I’m getting out of here alive. Rest of the members assemble themselves out of the haunted house. I want to scream for help but with all the noise I’m pretty sure nobody can hear the gun shot let alone me. As I recite my last prayer under my breath everyone bursts out laughing. ” You cursed me dead doesn’t mean we are going to kill you” I hear meanest of them say, “Not unless your curse actually works.” I hear her wickedly look at me and then come pat my chin. Confused I look at ghost face, he has that same expression as before. Is it what I recognized? I look back at the mean one, her face has dropped down to softness as well. How can they forgive me? Peppy person still has his wide smile, I look back to ghost face and hear myself say,”So its all Cool?” Ghost face smiles followed by mean girl who’s now holding my hand. My mind traces all possibilities that could have made this miracle happen and then it struck me. I smiled back while squeezing mean girls hand. Everything would return back to the way it was. I open my eyes to see ghost face expression change to blank. I smile hoping I can stay here longer. Amidst of dreaming I’m met with fear of waking up to the reality of present.

‘BHA : Betaine Salicylate ‘ The Reason Why COSRX BHA liquid works like magic

Hey You! This a really short post on Betaine Salicylate, an ingredient that I recently discovered from a product I am so found of. Having oily acne prone skin its so difficult to maintain healthy skin without using chemicals. If you are a person like me dealing with acne you probably be familiar with BHA. If you don’t know what that is don’t worry I have attached a link, just click BHA written in blue in the next para. I didn’t want to write my own definition of it as I suck at explaining(lol). But here’s a little bit of what I can explain and have experienced.

BHA is found in a lot of skincare ingredient because of its ability to go deep into to our skin and get rid of all dead skin as well as acne forming bacteria as its oil soluble. It gets it superpowers from Salicylic Acid which is more often used in curing acne but it dries out skin and could irritate the skin if used alone. While I was healing my acne prone skin I didn’t realize that while I was using tropical medication I wasn’t using sunscreen (your skin can be irritated by chemicals and sunburn is the last thing you want with irritated acne, trust me) and neither a moisturizer. It took me a while to realize I was doing worse to my skin. That was until I found about COSRX BHA liquid. I read great reviews about this product and how it is for acne prone skin. So I bought it and have used it now for quite a time. When I was impressed with its result I thought of reviewing the ingredient behind this product.

Betaine Saliva late

Though it has lots of ingredients in it Salix Alba bark water and Betaine Salicylate are the one doing the original work here. While Salix Alba contains salicin which can be converted into salicylic acid Betaine Salicylate does the job double times.

Betaine salicylate has betaine which retains moisture in your skin resulting in hydrating and preventing from irritation or dryness as well as giving the benefits of Salicylic Acid. For me this ingredient is an X-Factor.

Not only is this ingredient safe having no hazardous effect more over it has improved my skin texture and provides smooth skin and provided with a radiant brighter skin.

So this my short ingredient based review hope you find it informative.

Skin Care: Ditching The Basics

When I first had acne I was determined it was due to my lack of having a proper skin care, and I was right but it never occurred to me that even years later while I had a proper skin care routine I wasn’t paying attention on the ingredients and the products I was using on my skin. Though I was following a skin routine religiously I wasn’t an effective one at all. I did a detailed research going through various ingredients, blogs and even product review. This is a short summary of what steps a skincare routine should consist of

Cleanser
Toners
Exfoliators
Serum
Sunblock

Cleansers

The most important thing to consider when buying a cleanser is to note its ability to balance pH of our skin. Though looking for a cleaner based on your skin type is an absolutely good idea but most often those Cleansers make our skin alkaline . While the pH of skin should be around 5 so as to retain moisture and prevent bacterial acne, most cleansers in efficiently clean do tend to strip away the moisture, which is a big no-no for cleansers. I would definitely suggest to look for cleansers that specifically clam to balance pH of our skin no matter what skin type you have.

The second thing is the trend of double cleansing. Though I’m super lazy person my self but double cleansing is necessary regardless if you use make up or not, especially if you have an oily skin. At the end of day or when you return back home clean your face with an oil based cleanser to get rid of all the junk, sebum on your face and of course makeup if have that applied. The thing about oil cleansers is that since its oil it easily removes oil based dirt from your face which water based cleansers can’t. And the good thing is that you can even use oil for this purpose if it suits you.

Toners

As the name suggests its function is to tone skin reducing pore size as well as hydration skin. As much as this step is over looked adding a good toner to your skincare can give you an additional hydration. If you are a newbie you can do without this step too.

Exfoliators

Exfoliation is my favorite step who doesn’t love scrubbing away the dead skin but do you know when you are using physical exfoliators you are in fact doing more harm than good. While on the other hand chemical exfoliators provide the benefit of exfoliation without irritating the skin. A chemical exfoliator with BHA or AHA would be a best pick, more over there are various chemical pads available easily around the market.

Serum

Serums…..Are they really important? I’ve always asked myself. Serums being very expensive were something off my radar since a very long time. And the fact that there are so many characterized as essence and ampoule confused me even more. Serums are definitely more effective than masks( Even though both have their importance) as these are light weight liquid that penetrate the skin. There are so many serums available from vitamin C brightening the skin to pore reducing Hyaluronic Acid, depending on what you want to achieve from your skincare

Sunblock

Half of my teen years I’ve spent getting tan by not wearing any sunblock but apart from tan sunblock is a crucial part of skincare. There are foundations and BB creams that do the work of sunblock, using a BB cream with good spf is definitely time-saving but it’s always advised to use sunblock on it’s on especially if you are outdoor between 1-4pm. A good sunblock should have higher than 30 spf and should be oil free. Look for sunscreen with Titanium dioxide or zinc oxide in them and avobenzone.